Negotiating a Start Date for a New Job

Negotiating a Start Date for a New JobNegotiating a Start Date for a New JobYou have just landed a great job offer, and you are thrilled, but the employer wants you to departure earlier or later than would be optimal. Is there a way to change your abflug date without sending the wrong signal to your prospective employer? Whats the best way to ask to change the time frame for when you abflug your position? Can you negotiate the start date for a new job? Tips for Negotiating a Start Date for a New Job In most cases, a typical start date is two weeks from when you accepted the job offer. However, depending on the job and the employer, it could be as much as a month, or it could be sooner if the company needs to get someone on board immediately. If youre not able to start on the employers preferred date, you dont want to take a chance on losing a job offer because of your lack of availability.Be careful how you discuss it. Dont say that you cant start then. Instead, see if there is a ny room for negotiation. If you frame your request carefully, you may be able to start on a date thats a perfect fit for your schedule. Salary isnt the only thing thats negotiable in a job offer. Your start date, along with some benefits and perks may be something you can negotiate. Start by saying thank you. Your immediate response to an attractive job offer should always be enthusiasm at the prospect of working for the employer, so there is no doubt that you are very pleased to receive their offer. If youaccept the job offerfirst, then discuss a start date, youll likely be able to negotiate something that fits both your needs and those of your new employer. Options for Asking to Delay Your Start Date If the employer wants you to start earlier than you would like, be prepared to offer a solid rationale.Reasons for postponing the start date night include a contractual obligationwith your current employer or company policy which requires a longer period of notification.Explain th e circumstances to the employer, and ask if there is any flexibility. Another possibility would be to explain a commitment you have made to your current employer to follow through with a project or to train your successor.Most employers will respect your dedication to your current organization since they will hope to receive the same consideration. If you have an already planned vacation or event that might impact your start date, such as your daughters wedding in Jamaica or a family reunion thats already scheduled, the employer might also be willing to accommodate you. Sometimes making yourself available for some training before your official start can help to bridge a gap. If feasible,perhaps you could use leftover vacation time at your old job to start training for the new one. Reasons Employers May Not Need You to Start Immediately Less common is a scenario whereby your new employer would like you to start at a later date. However, there are a variety of reasons why employer s may schedule a start date further in the future than you expected. It could be because the company needs to run a hintergrund check or a drug screen. If thats the case, they will schedule your starting day for after the results come back. The person you are replacing also may have given a longer notice than usual, and the company may not want to have two people on the payroll for the same job at the same time. The company may have budgeted for the position to start on a set date, or may not need the help immediately. When You Are Available to Start Sooner In some instances, your current employer may have a policy or practice where they let staff go once they learn about a new job commitment. You may be available to work sooner than the new employer expects. When youre collecting unemploymentor are out of unemployment benefits, the earlier your start date,the sooner your paychecks will start. Even though it may not be an option, it wont hurt to ask if there is a chance you can start sooner than the date mentioned by the employer. If you dont ask, youll never know if you could have started at a more convenient time. Approach your prospective employer, express your excitement about getting started as soon as possible, and let them know the implications for you if your start date is so far into the future.Explain that youre available and willing to start as soon as possible if it would be feasible. Be Flexible As with all employment negotiations, be ready for some give and take with both your current and prospective employers.For example, if your current employer prefers a months notice, you mention that your prospective employer wants you to start in two weeks and try to land on a start date three weeks into the future. Once you have agreed on your start date, take the time to get ready to start your new job so theres a smooth, and stress-free, transition. Getting organized ahead of time will make it much easier to get your new job off to a great start.

How to KonMari your inbox, according to a productivity expert

How to KonMari your inbox, according to a productivity expertHow to KonMari your inbox, according to a productivity expertYour inbox You cant live with it and you cant live without it. Its pretty important for you to be accessible via schmelzglasle - both so your boss can contact you and so you can get all the super fun updates about upcomingbachelorette parties- and yet, emaille can be so incredibly annoying. Whether or not youre truly striving forinbox zero, your ever-expanding list of incoming messages haunts you in your dreams, reminding you of just how available you are and just how much you need to get accomplished at any given time. We get it - the panic is real.Take a deep breath. In the same way that theKonMari methodhas been a lifesaver in the way you organize your home, it can transform the way you manage your emails. Google productivity expert Laura Mae Martin offers these 10 tips for tidying up that frustrating inbox. We hope they bring you joy and maybe even a little closer to inbox zero.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and mora1. Remember that if you dont need to see an email, it doesnt have to hit your inbox.Every email you see takes a tiny piece of your energy, Martin says.Try to make every email that gets to your inbox something youneedto see. Take control of the inbox by unsubscribing from mailing lists that seem to be stalking you or by setting up filters based on keywords that arent actually relevant to you.2. Dont touch an email more than twice.Dont waste time by revisiting the same message over and over again. Scan the message once and figure out where it belongs (more on that below). Read it just once more after that when youre preparing to reply. Then, say goodbye3. Compartmentalize email tasks.There are three primary tasks related to inbox management sorting, reading, and answering. Instead of bouncing back and forth between these activ ities, Martin suggests focusing on one at a time, which will allow you to preserve more energy and brainpower. Sort everything, then read everything, then answer everything. Its batch working at its finest.4. Designate a folder outside of your inbox for emails that you need to answer.There are few things more anxiety-provoking than an inbox thats a mix of read and unread messages, especially if some of those messages require your attention and others dont. Yes, new emails should come into your inbox, but if youve read them and know that they need to be answered or addressed, put them in another folder or add a label.5. Hide your inbox when youre responding to messages.Multitasking isnt always the best way to go. Its very hard to stay focused on answering your important emails when youre constantly tempted to open the bright and shiny new emails that just came in, Martin says. Separate your email drafting window from your incoming messages so you can focus all of your attention on th e note youre writing.6. Archive everything thats not an active email.Why do we leave emails around? Martin says. It gives our brain the false sense of having so much to do, when in reality many of the emails are obsolete. Its time to get ruthless about your inbox. If you dont actually need an email anymore - or if it doesnt bring you joy - delete it, archive it, or put it in a folder where its less likely to cause stress. Like all things KonMari, its all about simplifying.7. Use advanced searches.Learn how to be more strategic about searching for specific messages in your various folders and archives. Youll be surprised about how specific you can get. Knowing that you can easily track messages down later on will make you feel more comfortable sorting and deleting emails before they linger in the inbox for too long.8. Respond within 24 hours as much as possible.You dont have to invest time in a complete, thoughtful response to every last message within a single day, but it might sa ve you lots of headaches if you get in the habit of at least acknowledging receipt of new emails in the space of 24 hours. Give as many senders as possible a sense of the timeline youre working on. If youre going to address their questions or requests later in the week, let them know. This will cut back on lots of (annoying) check-in emails.9. Shut down the inbox once or twice a day for deep work.Email is great, but its also the ultimate work distraction, Martin admits. Try truly closing your email tab any time you have some time to accomplish something or do deep work. It may feel weird to be offline at first, but youll adjust especially when you realize just how much more productive you can be.10. Mute notifications for incoming messages.Stop the madness with those notifications. Say goodbye to the pesky buzzes and alerts on your phone. This will allow you to be proactive about checking your inbox instead of constantly feeling as though youre being chased by all of your devices.Yo u might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from jngstes Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

3 Things Every College Grad Should Keep In Mind as They Look for a Career

3 Things Every College Grad Should Keep In Mind as They Look for a Career 3 Things Every College Grad Should Keep In Mind as They Look for a Career Dont feel limited by your major.Your major does elend define your career choice. Always spin it to your benefit. Inform employers about the skills you learned through your major, not the major itself. I tell people all the time that being an American history major requires me to do a lot of research and writing, and employers completely agree. If your senior thesis or other classes youve taken relate to your career, dont be afraid to mention them. You can even put them on your resume under the Education section.Dont be afraid to reach out to people that can help you.There are many campus resources and alumni networks that recent grads and students dont take enough advantage of. If youre still in school, start as early as possible. My college advisor once told me that the seniors at my school tend to not think seriously about jobs until their last semester, leading them to freak out during their last months in college. While there will always be lackadaisical students roaming around, some do take a ton of time searching for a job but end up with little to nothing. Therefore, make sure you learn how to effectively ask for help, reach out, and network. Many career centers still offer their assistance to graduates and can help you locate other alumni in your field that you can contact.If you choose to speak to an alumni, realize that they probably wont give you a job. Still, these alumni are great sources of information on careers youre interested in, so use them to figure out what youre really getting into. Some might even tischset up an interview for you or pass your resume along to someone who has a job opening. Make sure to send a thank you card afterward. Theyll be more willing to contact you if they have something suitable for you in the future and will be motivated to help another struggling student or graduate later on.Dont pass up opportunities (but dont settle for what will make you miserable).There are so many wonderful opportunities that people pass up because they think they wont get anything out of them. But theres a reason why so many people say that you should take advantage of every opportunity you get. While Im not saying you should take all of them (you dont want to hate your job and end up jeopardizing your performance and well-being), at least consider all of them. People that seem lucky are really just those that take advantage of whats placed in front of them, and find a way to make it work for them in the long run. So you might have to start at a company or position that you think wont help you get your dream job. But trust me it can if you market it the right way. You can always spin things that you did during one job to make them seem applicable to another one, just like you can with your major.Realize that veering away your major, talking to people who cant outrightly give you a job, or taking a position at a place that isnt where you dreamed youd be arent bad things. In fact, they may benefit you much more in the long run, because youll have learned how to maximize what you learned in college for the real world, practiced successful networking and perhaps discovered something that you thought wouldnt make you happy, but you may eventually come to adore. Heck, I hated American history before I had to take it to fulfill a college requirement.

An Overview of Navy Rear Admiral Career

An Overview of Navy Rear Admiral CareerAn Overview of Navy Rear Admiral CareerA rear admiral in the United States Navy has two divisions, upper and lower, with the upper being the senior grade. Upper half rear admirals, as those in this rank are called, receive a higher rate of pay than their lower half counterparts, and wear two stars on their uniforms as opposed to the one star sported by lower half rear admirals. Each grades command flags also contain a corresponding number of stars on a blue background. Rear admirals assist vice admirals, who are one rank above an upper half rear admiral. When referred to verbally, officers of both upper half and lower half ranks are addressed as rear admiral, although a distinction is made between the two ranks in written correspondence, with either LH or UH following the officers title. Ranking System Naval commissioned officers are paid commensurate with their rank based on a pay scale that runs from O-1 for the lowest-ranked individuals t o O-10 for the highest. Upper half rear admirals are granted pay according to the O-8 standard, while lower half rear admirals are paid in accordance with the O-7 designation. Officers within the O-7 to O-10 pay range are considered flag officers. Fewer than 1 percent of career officers are promoted to flag rank, which in the Navy comprises the one-star rear admiral (lower half), the two-star rear admiral (upper half), the three-star vice admiral, and the four-star admiral. The natural progression in rank is from lower half rear admiral to upper half, with the former having served at least a year at that rank to be eligible for promotion to the latter. The Navys promotion system is vacancy-driven and, for flag officers, is a highly political process. Each year, in-tafelgeschirr promotion planners map out the anticipated need for officers in each grade and then recommend officers to the president of the United States, who will choose from this list whenever a vacancy occurs due to an other officers promotion or retirement. The Senate must confirm this pick. Per the O-8 pay scale, upper half rear admirals with fewer than two years of service earn $8,453 per month, while those with 20 years invested earn $11,319 per month and those with more than 38 years in service are paid $12,186 per month. That compares with $10,236 per month for lower half rear admirals with 20 years in service and $10,494 for lower half rear admirals with 38 years. Retirement An officer who attains the rank of lower half rear admiral, but has not been selected or nominated for promotion to the upper half rank, must retire after five years at that rank or 30 years of active service, depending on which milestone comes later. An upper half rear admiral also must retire five years after being promoted to that rank or after 35 years of active duty, whichever is later. However, the Navy secretary can waive each of those structures. The law also dictates that all naval flag officers retire by age 62, although this can be delayed until 64 if the Navy secretary or defense secretary grants an extension, and flag officers may even serve until age 66 at the presidents discretion.

The Basic Facts of Etsy Resume Template

The Basic Facts of Etsy Resume vorlage If youre managing software, it must enable you to save or export to Word format. In case the schablone isnt in the right format there isnt any value of using it. Fourth, it must be in Word format. Have a peek at these examples to select which format is right for you. The Characteristics of Etsy Resume Template Its quite easy to use a resume template. Therefore, for those who have a resume template, you dont have to be concerned about standards. If you believe that you dont will need to create a resume template then you might want to read further to figure out why precisely you want to learn to compose a resume. Each resume template ought to be related to the vacant position and shouldnt sound generic. Ladders best resume templates are sure to offer you an advantage in your job search. They are available online and they are freely downloadable. In just about all scenarios, your free resume template needs to be chronological. There ar e several free resume samples or templates readily available online, which make it simple and convenient for somebody to modify one according to their very own requirements. While there are numerous expert CV and resume writing services available on the internet, and theyll certainly do the task for you, it is going to cost you to get it written for you in particular. Legitimate, professional resume writing services might not be for everybody, but they do help a wonderful deal of job seekers. Customer service is an essential element in many jobs and its crucial that you concentrate on that in your resume. Resumes ought to be simple for the reader to follow. A Startling Fact about Etsy Resume Template Uncovered You dont ever want to cut out important skills merely to conserve room. Each kind of job demands particular abilities, qualifications and experience. Writing a resume for employment in the art industry can be difficult. So realize that you choose the right type of re sume format for your specific abilities and abilities. What Does Etsy Resume Template Mean? For almost whatever you want to include on a resume, theres a category to help organize it. Once youve reviewed resumes in your field, peruse resumes across fields to know how to vary using action verbs and receive a feel for what makes a highly effective accomplishment statement. However much or what kind of work experience youve got, theres a resume format that is likely to make your qualifications shine. Meanwhile, youve got two options if you opt not to acquire professional resume writing help. Etsy Resume Template Can Be Fun for Everyone You will understand the format comprising different resume sections. On contrary, the chronological format is most effective for a seasoned candidate to underline the work history. A template will inform you all of the relevant data that you need to be mentioning in your CV, with particular reference to the sort of position you are trying to get. Youll also get to see, by means of the sample resumes, what you need to write and the way you should write them. You are sure to discover the ideal template that will help save you time, provide you with a professional look, and leave a long-lasting impression to land the interview. Youre going to compose a resume summary which gets many mora interviews. To begin with, it must be able to make a jaw-dropping summary on top of page one. Etsy Resume Template - Is it a Scam? Unless youre a graphic designer looking for employment, theres no need to over think the plan of your one-pager. So if you would like resume help, you will want some good resume examples. Whatever free resume template you select, make certain it makes it possible to set your very best foot forward. For more ideas about how to strengthen your program, have a look at our education and teaching resumes. The Pain of Etsy Resume Template The sphere of information technology gets more important every single day . For an excellent education resume or an academic resume the most important information is the work profile. All you have to do is modify the info thats already included and then youre set up to go. All you need to do is enter your information.

The History of Engineering Resume Writing Services Refuted

The History of Engineering Resume Writing Services Refuted How to Find Engineering Resume Writing Services Online In todays engineering business, employers want candidates who think beyond their very own education and experiences. So, there are various reasons to begin an engineering career. Other crucial areas in your work experience will likewise be explored to highlight your credentials and make a stand-out resume. Indicate relevant abilities, including computer, language and professional skills which may be important for a specific job. If you want a career in engineering, you have to first acquire the crucial training (which may be accomplished online in your house or at a nearby college). Things that can be not strongly related the work really shouldnt be mentioned. A great engineer who cant say how good they are and the reason why they are ideal for a specific job is seen as not fit to manage the job that is being supplied. You are going to need an outstanding resum e to acquire the work prospect. Engineering Resume Writing Services Features Career builder CV samples supply you with many formats out there. Possessing an executive level curriculum vitae samples readily available, you find it possible to construct an application for this dream job that you want. Opportunely, engineering resumes have an extremely straightforward format. Resume writing objective is a significant portion of the resume, without it resume wont leave its effect on the recruiter. There are plenty of statements one can utilize to make an effective resume. Resume references will assist the employer to understand your efficiency and your behavioral attitude at work atmosphere. Introducing Engineering Resume Writing Services Employers never search for the ideal engineering resume, but a resume that sells an individual well enough says a great deal about the individual. There arent a great deal of engineering resume writing services but you can zupflmmel one of t hem. If you dont have a lot of knowledge in the particular field, just indicate names of specialist engineering classes you attended. Professional engineers are never scared to eliminate a job only because they know they can easily find employment in the most lucrative businesses. Engineering Resume Writing Services Features Employers will demand for at least two references when you submit an application for any job. Your Professional Resume Writer will then supply you with a very first draft and request feedback on whether you want to generate any changes. To acquire a start in your search for an upcoming role, take a look at the Engineering Job Search page. Resumes usually have a tendency to be longer than the essential standard. The Nuiances of Engineering Resume Writing Services Resume writing Objective is a central section in any type of resume. Resume is constructed with distinctive sections. Engineering Resume Writing Services - the Story The very last thing you w ish to do is make a possible employer think youre boring or not able to communicate effectively with nontechnical personnel. You have to let all possible hiring managers know that youre responsible for your life and your targets and you can earn a difference to their small business. By checking out all features and services a provider offers, were getting sufficient info to generate a conclusion on which are the best resume services that can enable you to get the job that you are applying for. Resume journalists that have a place with resume-guaranteeing associations tend toward remain exceptional in resume viability.

Life, Death and Resume Template for Google Docs

Life, Death and Resume Template for Google Docs For some individuals, obtaining a resume sample is merely like a template as it may be used as guide for both design and content. You will have to make an account to download templates. Just scroll down until you discover a section named Resumes or CVs, based on where you are. To begin with, it provides an easy layout for constructing your CV including all the crucial parts of data like contact data, portfolio, bio, skills, and preferences. What Resume Template for Google Docs Is - and What it Is notlage A fundamental resume template has gotten easily the most fundamental version or sort of a resume template which may be utilised to create resumes for almost any work position. Google Docs letter templates supply you with a coordinated look to coincide with the kind of your resume. Examples of New Charts in Spreadsheets allow you to gain from the options of graphical representation of information. Be very cautious when employing any sort of image, unless youre an expert designer. Click the template you need to use, and itll open in a new window. The download link is simply found in the body of the text (there isnt any download button or image), therefore it can be simple to miss. All you have to do is merely download resume template and edit it the direction you will need to find the best outcomes. Simply click where you wish to edit, delete the dummy text and begin typing. In addition, you can select from three different color schemes to really ensure it is unique. Highlight the text youd love to use the formatting to. If youre not acquainted with using Google Docs, the formatting features are easy to use. For instance, the administrative assistant resume heres a great case of a resume thats clearly structured. The principal value of any resume is to bring the most significant info, which hiring manager would love to observe the most. Resumes are often requested when youre applying for employment or internship. Hiring managers are busy people and youve got a limited time to draw their focus to your candidacy. Career Perfect is a great supply of resume advice and seems to have a superb reputation online too. Working a job that you hate isnt mandatory. Read More, here are several resume templates that it is easy to adjust to satisfy your requirements. Youre looking for straightforward resume templates. Its quick and simple to find and use templates. The majority of the templates are supplied by named, resume writing specialists and thus the quality is extremely excellent.Ultimately, a whole lot of online resume templates is just editable in programs like MS Word, Illustrator, or PhotoShop. Writing a strong program is an ambitious procedure and we want to help it become easier. Making your resume is critical. In case you have any questions, dont hesitate to email us In addition to describing your professional background and degree of expertise, your resume is the v ery best spot to highlight your abilities. Make an effective legal resume, and you may move in the career of your dreams. When you find a posting for your fantasy job, its easy to become excited about the idea of applying and landing it. The exact last thing you would like to do is receive a job which you have the ability to t do. Ensure you didnt miss whatever could cost you the job that you dream about What About Resume Template for Google Docs? Google doc is a location where you are able to store your document online at no cost. If youre looking for Resume Template Google Docs Download youve come to the correct spot. Google includes lots of completely free templates as a piece of Docs. Google supplies a resume-builder tool which youre able to utilize to create a professional resume. Whichever service you decide on, I cant overstate the worth of utilizing an expert job resume template. Others are provided by graphic design sites. You can tischset your job search files into specific folders to help organize your work search. Both options are completely acceptable, which is the reason why its up to you to select which you would like.

Yes, You Still Need Paper Resumes for Your Interviews

Yes, You Still Need Paper Resumes for Your InterviewsYes, You Still Need Paper Resumes for Your InterviewsYes, You Still Need Paper Resumes for Your InterviewsBecause most of your job searching can be done online, you might wonder why youd ever need to print hardcopies of your resumes and cover letters. After all, if you applied to the job online and emailed your documents, they should have everything they need when you go in for your interview. Right?Wrong. There are several instances when the interviewer wont have your documents readily accessible. Most times its because theyre unprepared (which might have something to do with the dozen other people theyre interviewing). If you think you can get away with going to an interview with nothing mora than a nice suit and a pen in hand, think about how you would handle these situationsThe interviewer forgets or misplaces your resume. This has happened to me more than once. The interviewer sat down, then realized she didnt bring a copy of my resume with her. Ill never know if it was a genuine oversight, or a test to see if Id prepared well. Luckily, I had printed a few copies and brought them with me in case this happened. The interviewer is the decision maker so shes allowed to be a little unprepared (even though it drives us job seekers nuts), but never let yourself be the one who has to apologize for not being ready.You interview with several people and not everyone has your resume. Good hiring managers will let you know ahead of time how many people you will be meeting with, maybe even in what order. But others will give you a date, time, and place, and expect you to deal with whatever they throw your way. That might mean that you go in thinking youre meeting with one or two people, but instead its five plus the HR director. Again, a good hiring manager will make sure all interviewers have copies of your resume and cover letter. But in case they dont, you should have extra printouts on hand to show that you thoug ht ahead and planned for all contingencies.You applied with an older resume and want them to have the new one. This one actually happened to me (and I still laugh about it). I submitted a first draft of my resume with some typos and didnt notice the mistakes until a few days later. Despite the errors, the company called me in for an interview. Given the chance to correct my mistake, I forwarded an updated resume to the hiring manager days before the interview. But guess what? I interviewed with four more people than I expected, and they all had the old version of my resume. Lessons learned before, I handed out the updated version (and again wonder if it was all just a test to see how well prepared I was).Having paper copies of your resume available for your interviewers shows preparation, organization, and good planning skills. And if the interviewers forgotten resume is actually a test, youll pass with flying colors.

5 secret signals that your interview went well

5 secret signals that your bewerberinterview went well5 secret signals that your interview went wellAfter an interview ends and a managerescorts you to the door, now comes the dissection of what just happened didit go well? Do they introduce every candidate to executives? Was that handshake encouraging or dismissive? Did they look bored? When they said well follow up this week, was that a clue?Adrenaline and nerves can cloud your perspective, so here are five clear signals that can reassure you that the interview did in fact go well.1) They talk to you for a long time comfortablyWhen a job interview goes well, you should feel a rapport with your interviewer.That means the interview should feel like a conversation, not a formal exchange of ideas between two people forced into a room together reaching for things to talk about.If you are both enjoying your conversation so much that you run over your allotted time, thats an even better sign.2) Body language is openYou know youre doing we ll when youve captured your audiences attention, and you can tell howattentive your interviewer is based on nonverbal cues. If your interviewer isnodding and smiling at your answers, thats a positive sign of engagement. If theyre sitting stiff in their seats and they appear closed off, that may mean theyre not buying what youre selling.Are they keeping eye contact with you or are they keeping their eyes on their screens?Healthy amounts of eye contact signal that you are being heard.I once had an interview where one of my interviewers started scrolling through hisphone, and I knew then and there that I had lost him.3) You get shown around and introduced to peopleWhen interviewerstake extra time to show candidates around the building, it means that youre a strong candidate and they want to sell you on the company and familiarize youon what employees day-to-days look like. It also means they believe people should get a gelegenheit to meet you and see how you could get along.If you get introduced to people you would be working with, that means youre being checked out forserious consideration. Make sure to make a good impression on these employees. Theyll be weighing in on you later.4) They want to know your other optionsIf your interviewer wants to know what other companieswant you and for how much, theyre fishing to find out how in demand you are. Let me know if you receive an offer from another employer signals that youre underserious consideration and your potentialemployer doesnt want to feel left out of this race.5) They pictureyou in their futureIf your interviewer starts framing their comments as when you start and talks extensively about your responsibilities on the team, that means theyre picturing a future in their company with you in it. Once managers start imagining what you can contribute to their teams, your status changes from one candidate in a schwimmbecken of many to The One.When your interviewer moves past what you have to offer and starts selli ng you on what the company has to offer, then you know youre in a good spot.Of course, there are many internal bureaucraticreasons about how a job process endsthat are beyond your control to see in an interview. The best way to ultimately find out if the interview went well is if you get the job offer.

This map shows you the best (and worst) cities to make a living

This map shows you the best (and worst) cities to make a living This map shows you the best (and worst) cities to make a living What is the most important measure for your family when it comes to financial security? Is it the poverty rate in your community? The overall unemployment rate? Or is it the total take-home pay coming into your pocket each year? We suspect it’s the latter, so we created a new map showing the places with the 10 highest and 10 lowest median annual salary earnings in the country.We analyzed occupational employment statistics from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for 381 metro areas. Figures represent the median annual income as of May 2017, the most recent information available. We took the 10 cities with the highest incomes and the 10 with the lowest and mapped them as green and red spikes, respectively. We then labeled the Top 10 in each category.Top 10 cities with the highest annual median wages1. San Francisco-Redwood City-South San Francisco, CA: $77,3602. San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, CA: $77,1803. California-Lexington Park, MD: $70,8604. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-M D-WV: $70,1705. San Francisco-Oakland-Hayward, CA: $69,7006. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV: $69,2107. Boston-Cambridge-Newton, MA: $69,1708. Bridgeport-Stamford-Norwalk, CT: $67,5409. Framingham, MA NECTA Division: $66,48010. Seattle-Bellevue-Everett, WA: $65,350Top 10 cities with the lowest annual median wages1. Gadsden, AL: $35,1902. Brownsville-Harlingen, TX: $35,2403. Sebring, FL: $35,8704. Myrtle Beach-Conway-North Myrtle Beach, SC-NC: $35,8905. Hot Springs, AR: $36,0406. Daphne-Fairhope-Foley, AL: $36,1107. Jacksonville, NC: $36,3108. McAllen-Edinburg-Mission, TX: $36,3809. Morristown, TN: $36,57010. Valdosta, GA: $36,880The most obvious trend from our map is that cities with the lowest paying jobs tend to be in the Southeast, whereas most of the cities with the highest paying jobs are either on the West Coast or in the Northeast. You might expect places like San Francisco and San Jose to top the list, given the presence of so many high paying jobs with the tech community. The same can be said for Seattle and Boston. Interestingly, Washington, DC makes the Top 10 as well, perhaps suggesting that there’s money to be had if you’ve got connections to those in power.But we think the best place to live is probably San Francisco. It has an unemployment rate of just 2.8% (the lowest of any in the Top 10) and a poverty rate of just 9.2% (the second lowest in the Top 10). That signals an economy running at top speed. Great weather, by the ocean, plenty of good paying jobs - now if only they can do something about the earthquakes.Seattle, Boston, San Francisco - you’ve no doubt heard of many of the cities with the highest paying jobs. Gadsen, Brownsville, Sebring - do any of those places ring a bell? Many of the metro areas with the lowest paying jobs are hard to find on a map precisely because they aren’t known for any booming industries. As a matter of fact, Texas has two cities in the bottom 10, neither of which are the big ones you’ ve already heard of like Dallas or Houston.There are a couple of interesting surprises on our map at both ends of the spectrum, however. Fairbanks, Alaska makes it into the Top 10 (with a median salary of $56,760), thanks in large part to the scarcity of labor on the last frontier and the oil industry. Alaska produces so much oil that instead of taxing people’s income, the state government actually pays people to live and work there. Boulder, Colorado also stands out as the only city on Mountain Time making it into the Top 25.Inequality is one of the defining themes of the U.S. today, but it can be a hard thing to illustrate. Our map shows where the haves and the have-nots tend to live and, although it is not a complete picture, it demonstrates enormous regional differences in take-home pay for American workers.Data: Table 1.1This article first appeared on HowMuch.net.

Top 6 secrets to making emotionally intelligent friendships

Top 6 secrets to making emotionally intelligent friendships Top 6 secrets to making emotionally intelligent friendships We all want good, close friends.  Problem is, while high school sure had gym class, it didn’t have “Emotional Intelligence 101.”So what part of emotional intelligence is critical for friendships? Emotional intimacy.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:Sociologist Ray Pahl states that friendships today are based primarily on trust and emotional intimacy.So what is emotional intimacy?From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:Emotional intimacy is the experience of being deeply connected to another person who knows and understands your most important feelings and who shares his or her own with you.Yeah, that sounds nice but it’s still at Hallmark Card levels of pleasant vagueness. So we can probably recognize the concept better by looking at its  opposite.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:If there were a label for this problem in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it might read something like “Emotional Intimacy Deficiency- a problem characterized by a sense of shallowness in one’s relationships with others, associated with a failure to recognize or express feelings, to reveal personal details about oneself, to be vulnerable or let anyone help you, to comfortably share attention or let go of control, and to listen without having to solve a problem.”This won’t shock you at all, but research shows men are far worse at this than women. Both sexes can certainly struggle, but this is a department where men really lag behind.And that causes a lot of problems for men. Serious problems. Not just unfulfilling relationships - it’s more akin to a chronic emotional illness that affects every area of life.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:(Men who lack emotional intimacy) take longer to recover from minor illnesses, have lower resistance levels, and have reduced survival times when diagnosed with terminal illness. They are 50 p ercent more likely to have a first-time heart attack, and twice as likely to die from it, than men with strong social ties. When depressed, these men have significantly lower rates of recovery than those who have close relationships… Wives who cite their husband’s “emotional unavailability” as the primary cause of divorce initiate two out of every three divorces today. At the far end of the life cycle, older men without close relationships have 20 percent lower ten-year survival rates compared with those who do.That said, women’s friendships aren’t perfect either.  We’re going to dive into the research and see the most common ways both sexes struggle with friendship, what they can do about it, and how they can learn from each other to improve.So how do you increase emotional intimacy and build emotionally intelligent friendships? It comes down to six steps. Let’s get to it…1) “Know thyself”The thing everybody skips. Knowing yourself means you know what you want and need, and this is critical for both picking new friends and strengthening existing relationships.How many friends would you optimally have? What level of closeness do you need? How frequently do you want to communicate? You want to ask  yourself, “What features of a friendship will be most fulfilling to me in the long run?”Research shows this is critical for women. We live in a world largely run by men, so women know they need close friendships to provide the things their often male-dominated-environments don’t give them.From  Buddy System:By forming relationships with a group of women, women escape having their relationships defined by men’s way of interacting. By defining relationships for themselves, women are able to construct them in a way that is more consistent with their own beliefs.So take some time to think about what you want and need.  (No, that 2 seconds between sentences doesn’t count. Really sit down and take a half hour and think. And write stuff down. )If you just rely on serendipity to bring you friendships and to move them forward, well, that’s what got you where you are now. Time to be a little more deliberate.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book  here.)So before we go to work on developing emotional intimacy, let’s find out what’s been getting in the way of it. In the modern world, what’s the biggest obstacle to adult friendships?2) Make the timeActually, you can’t “make time.” We all have 24 hours in a day. The more accurate thing to say is “make time with your friends a priority.” What friendships need to grow intimate and strong is hours.What are the most common friendship fights about? Time commitments.Via  Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:Daniel Hruschka reviewed studies on the causes of conflict in friendship and found that the most common friendship fights boil down to time commitments. Spending time with someone is a sure indicator that you value him; no one likes to feel undervalued.And the research shows this is where men make a big mistake. Whether it’s due to the longer hours men spend working or simply not making friendship the priority that women do, guys often don’t put in the time.From  Buddy System:From the responses, it appears women were less apt to say they did not have time for friends. Although the majority (60%) of men say they have enough friends, 40% do not have enough or are unsure, a greater number than the women. It may be that some men are pulled by work and cannot find the time to balance friends, work, and family.Unsurprisingly, in adulthood the biggest thing that takes away friend-time is family-time. And while no blogger in his right mind would ever type, “You should spend less time with your family,” he might be able to get away with saying something like the far more acceptable, “Balance is critical.”Research  has shown that in the modern era we have become far too relian t on spouses to provide  all  of our emotional needs - and that simply doesn’t work. So what’s a feasible solution?Including friends in family time is not only a way to kill two birds with one stone, it also improves  bothrelationships.Via  Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:Most intriguing was how couples rated their own relationships more positively after interacting with other pairs. Married partners fall into routine interactions and often fail to make the  effort to entertain and please as they did when they were winning each other over. Putting your best self forward for new friends allows you to shine and to see your partner through new eyes as she shines, too. Maintaining older mutual friendships also strengthens the bond between long-term partners: Having people around who think of the two of you as a unit, who admire your relationship, and who expect you to stay together can sustain you through times of doubt or distance.So you want to make friendships a priority and give them the time they need to become emotionally intimate. And if you’re lacking hours, invite friends to join you for family time.(To learn how to make friends easily, click  here.)Okay, so you know what you want and you’re making pals a priority. But which of your friends do you need to focus on building emotional intimacy with?3) Must, trust, rust, and justLooking at the  research, the types of friends that men and women have fall into the same four categories: must, trust, rust and just. “Must” friends: The inner circle. The closest of the close. “Trust” friends: Not inner circle, but people you trust, share confidences with and know are there for you. “Rust” friends: They’re pals simply because you’ve known them a long time. (If it had more than that, they’d be “must” or “trust.”) “Just” friends: Closer than acquaintances and you may see them regularly with a group, but you’re not tight with them and don’t have a big shared history. What’s critical here when it comes to emotional intimacy is those “must” friends. And “trust” friends are important because they can, with work, be promoted to “must” friends.First and foremost, you want to work on strengthening those “must” friendships and devoting more time to them. And you want to evaluate which of your “trust” friends meet with your “know thyself” criteria and might be worthy of elevation. “Rust” and “just” friends are good for rounding out your social circle but should receive less attention and investment.(To learn more about the types of friends everyone needs, click  here.)What’s the first step in strengthening those “must” and “trust” friends - or finding totally new ones?4) Be proactiveYou’re going to need to do some legwork. You need to be proactive and initiate contact.And you need to make  concrete  plans. I live in Los Angeles and in this city saying, “We should get together sometime” is pretty much syn onymous with, “I have no intention of ever seeing you again.”Specify places and times or your friendships will be determined by serendipity, which is the euphemism lazy people use for “dumb luck.”The optimistic angle here is that if you’re being passive you can pretty much be certain other people are being passive too. So if you lead, some will follow. Organize a group, throw a party, or just invite a friend to coffee.And what should you look for when meeting new folks who might become future “must” or “trust” friends? All the research agrees:  similarity  is key. Not only does it draw us to people, it also makes friendships more likely to last.From  Buddy System:Similarities also occur when tastes and interests match up, and similarities make friendships easier to maintain. And, unless you are interested in hanging out with people who make you feel bad about yourself (not a good interest to have), finding someone who conveys that you are likeable to them will be v ery reinforcing to your self-esteem.Beyond similarity, you should also look for  people you want to learn something from. Since you  took the time to sit down and “know thyself,” think about the person you want to be. Your best self.Who do you want to rub off on you? To make you a better spouse, parent, worker or human being?(To learn more about how to make friends as an adult, click  here.)Okay, you know what you want, you’re making time, and you’re proactive. So what’s the  real  key to developing emotional intimacy with your friends?5) CommunicationYeah, you hear “communicating is vital” constantly from experts but few ever break it down so you know how to actually do it. (These experts must not be good communicators.)You want to focus on four primary elements:  creating safety, vulnerability, emotional expressiveness, and active listening. Creating safety: Is my friend going to feel comfortable opening up to me? Am I being too judgmental? Or, at the opposite extreme, too nosy and pushy? Vulnerability: Are you sharing personal thoughts and feelings with them? Reciprocity is powerful and this is vital to helping both of you. Quick litmus test: are you scared to talk about the subject? Then you’re being vulnerable. Emotional expressiveness: Don’t just talk thoughts. Talk feelings. Yours and theirs. (Guys, if you’re recoiling at this, you’re proving the point that you need to work on it.) Active listening: Good listeners don’t just hear; they make the other person feel heard. Nod, acknowledge, and summarize what your friend said for confirmation. As former FBI hostage negotiator  Chris Voss  advises, if they respond “Exactly” - you’re doing it right. Women are much better at this than men. They spend more time communicating and focus more on emotional support.From  Buddy System:When asked the question concerning what they did with their friends, giving emotional support also was more common for women than for men.Much of male communication is teasing the other guy (which, taken too far, is the opposite of safety.) Men feel being vulnerable is the  worst  thing they can do (and to be fair, the cultural ideal of the “strong, silent type” and phrases like “man up” aren’t helping any.) Males are taught not to be expressive. And guys tend to focus on problem-solving instead of listening during conversations.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:We have found in our Friendship Labs that men are often willing to trade zingers and even enjoy mutual sparring, but only in limited doses. And while most will put up with it, they definitely will not open up when it’s coming at them.That said, women face c hallenges here too. Because they are taught to put others at ease and say supportive things, the issue of trust can become a problem: “Does she really mean what she’s saying, or is she just being nice?”From  Buddy System:Sociologist Lillian Rubin cites one woman as saying that, because women are so expressive and afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, compliments are never assumed to be true. “‘How can I believe she means I look good when she says it automatically, every time I see her?’”The solution for both sexes is, you guessed it, more and deeper communication. Doing the things necessary to make the other person feel safe - and then vulnerably discussing tough subjects gently and respectfully.(To learn more about how to handle the most difficult of conversations, click  here.)So you have the tools to build emotional intimacy. But once you have it, how do you keep a solid friendship alive?6) UpkeepFriendships require upkeep, like a plant. Yes, some friends are suc culents that require little watering but you’re probably forgetting all the ones that turned brown and ended up in the trash.You need to stay in regular contact. Research shows for solid friendships,  every 2 weeks  is the minimum.  In general, women are much better at this than men.From  Buddy System:Women maintain friendships largely through communication and staying in frequent contact… In contrast, only 10% of the men maintained friendships through frequent contact…But ladies face problems as well. Due to the amount of communication and openness, women are more likely to damage their friendships than men.  Survey results show women were more likely to say they lost a friend because of something they said or did (65% vs 50% for men.)That said, women are more likely to make efforts to repair damaged friendships, while men are more likely to let the relationship dissolve.So women might want to put more effort in to not getting offended. And given how difficult it can be for m en to make “must” friends, they should learn from the ladies and make more attempts to fix a troubled friendship rather than just moving on.(To learn how neuroscience can teach you to be more emotionally intelligent, click  here.)Alright, we’ve learned a lot. Time to round it all up and see how all this leads to a more meaningful life…Sum upThis is how to make emotionally intelligent friendships: Know thyself: To get the friendships you want, you have to know what you want. Make time: More accurately, make it a priority. We all waste time. So, uh, just don’t waste time alone. Must, Trust, Rust, Just: The first two are key. Strengthen the “must” and try to elevate the “trust.” Be proactive: In case you need confirmation, waiting for the phone to ring does not, in fact, make the phone ring. Communication: Create safety, be vulnerable, be emotionally expressive and use active listening. And a sincere compliment never hurt either, beautiful. Upkeep: You’re not too busy to send a text message every two weeks. If you think you’ll forget, put it in your calendar. Research  shows your friends often know you better than you know yourself. So not only does being closer to friends make your life better, it’s also the path to getting to know yourself better.So do what it takes to improve your relationships with friends and you’ll also improve the one relationship that’s key to happiness in life…The one you have with yourself.Join more than 320,000 readers.  Get a free weekly update via email  here.Related posts:New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis article first appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree. Top 6 secrets to making emotionally intelligent friendships We all want good, close friends.  Problem is, while high school sure had gym class, it didn’t have “Emotional Intelligence 101.”So what part of emotional intelligence is critical for friendships? Emotional intimacy.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:Sociologist Ray Pahl states that friendships today are based primarily on trust and emotional intimacy.Follow Ladders on Flipboard!Follow Ladders’ magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more!So what is emotional intimacy?From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:Emotional intimacy is the experience of being deeply connected to another person who knows and understands your most important feelings and who shares his or her own with you.Yeah, that sounds nice but it’s still at Hallmark Card levels of pleasant vagueness. So we can probably recognize the concept better by looking at its  opposite.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlo cking the Power of Friendship:If there were a label for this problem in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it might read something like “Emotional Intimacy Deficiency- a problem characterized by a sense of shallowness in one’s relationships with others, associated with a failure to recognize or express feelings, to reveal personal details about oneself, to be vulnerable or let anyone help you, to comfortably share attention or let go of control, and to listen without having to solve a problem.”This won’t shock you at all, but research shows men are far worse at this than women. Both sexes can certainly struggle, but this is a department where men really lag behind.And that causes a lot of problems for men. Serious problems. Not just unfulfilling relationships - it’s more akin to a chronic emotional illness that affects every area of life.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:(Men who lack emotional intimacy) take longer to recover from minor illnesses, have lower resistance levels, and have reduced survival times when diagnosed with terminal illness. They are 50 percent more likely to have a first-time heart attack, and twice as likely to die from it, than men with strong social ties. When depressed, these men have significantly lower rates of recovery than those who have close relationships… Wives who cite their husband’s “emotional unavailability” as the primary cause of divorce initiate two out of every three divorces today. At the far end of the life cycle, older men without close relationships have 20 percent lower ten-year survival rates compared with those who do.That said, women’s friendships aren’t perfect either.  We’re going to dive into the research and see the most common ways both sexes struggle with friendship, what they can do about it, and how they can learn from each other to improve.So how do you increase emotional intimacy and build emotionally intelligent friendship s? It comes down to six steps. Let’s get to it…1) “Know thyself”The thing everybody skips. Knowing yourself means you know what you want and need, and this is critical for both picking new friends and strengthening existing relationships.How many friends would you optimally have? What level of closeness do you need? How frequently do you want to communicate? You want to ask  yourself, “What features of a friendship will be most fulfilling to me in the long run?”Research shows this is critical for women. We live in a world largely run by men, so women know they need close friendships to provide the things their often male-dominated-environments don’t give them.From  Buddy System:By forming relationships with a group of women, women escape having their relationships defined by men’s way of interacting. By defining relationships for themselves, women are able to construct them in a way that is more consistent with their own beliefs.So take some time to think about what you want and need.  (No, that 2 seconds between sentences doesn’t count. Really sit down and take a half hour and think. And write stuff down.)If you just rely on serendipity to bring you friendships and to move them forward, well, that’s what got you where you are now. Time to be a little more deliberate.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book  here.)So before we go to work on developing emotional intimacy, let’s find out what’s been getting in the way of it. In the modern world, what’s the biggest obstacle to adult friendships?2) Make the timeActually, you can’t “make time.” We all have 24 hours in a day. The more accurate thing to say is “make time with your friends a priority.” What friendships need to grow intimate and strong is hours.What are the most common friendship fights about? Time commitments.Via  Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:Daniel Hruschka reviewed studies on the causes of confli ct in friendship and found that the most common friendship fights boil down to time commitments. Spending time with someone is a sure indicator that you value him; no one likes to feel undervalued.And the research shows this is where men make a big mistake. Whether it’s due to the longer hours men spend working or simply not making friendship the priority that women do, guys often don’t put in the time.From  Buddy System:From the responses, it appears women were less apt to say they did not have time for friends. Although the majority (60%) of men say they have enough friends, 40% do not have enough or are unsure, a greater number than the women. It may be that some men are pulled by work and cannot find the time to balance friends, work, and family.Unsurprisingly, in adulthood the biggest thing that takes away friend-time is family-time. And while no blogger in his right mind would ever type, “You should spend less time with your family,” he might be able to get away with s aying something like the far more acceptable, “Balance is critical.”Research  has shown that in the modern era we have become far too reliant on spouses to provide  all  of our emotional needs - and that simply doesn’t work. So what’s a feasible solution?Including friends in family time is not only a way to kill two birds with one stone, it also improves  bothrelationships.Via  Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:Most intriguing was how couples rated their own relationships more positively after interacting with other pairs. Married partners fall into routine interactions and often fail to make the  effort to entertain and please as they did when they were winning each other over. Putting your best self forward for new friends allows you to shine and to see your partner through new eyes as she shines, too. Maintaining older mutual friendships also strengthens the bond between long-term partners: Having people around who think of the two of you as a unit, who admire your relationship, and who expect you to stay together can sustain you through times of doubt or distance.So you want to make friendships a priority and give them the time they need to become emotionally intimate. And if you’re lacking hours, invite friends to join you for family time.(To learn how to make friends easily, click  here.)Okay, so you know what you want and you’re making pals a priority. But which of your friends do you need to focus on building emotional intimacy with?3) Must, trust, rust, and justLooking at the  research, the types of friends that men and women have fall into the same four categories: must, trust, rust and just. “Must” friends: The inner circle. The closest of the close. “Trust” friends: Not inner circle, but people you trust, share confidences with and know are there for you. “Rust” friends: They’re pals simply because you’ve known them a long time. (If it had more than that, they’d be “must” or “trust.”) “Just” friends: Closer than acquaintances and you may see them regularly with a group, but you’re not tight with them and don’t have a big shared history. What’s critical here when it comes to emotional intimacy is those “must” friends. And “trust” friends are important because they can, with work, be promoted to “must” friends.First and foremost, you want to work on strengthening those “must” friendships and devoting more time to them. And you want to evaluate which of your “trust” friends meet with your “know thyself” criteria and might be worthy of elevation. “Rust” and “just” friends are good for rounding out your social circle but should receive less attention and investment.(To learn more about the types of friends everyone needs, click  here.)What’s the first step in strengthening those “must” and “trust” friends - or finding totally new ones?4) Be proactiveYou’re going to need to do some legwork. You need to be proactive and initiate contact.And you need to make  concrete  plans. I live in Los Angeles and in this city saying, “We should get together sometime” is pretty much syn onymous with, “I have no intention of ever seeing you again.”Specify places and times or your friendships will be determined by serendipity, which is the euphemism lazy people use for “dumb luck.”The optimistic angle here is that if you’re being passive you can pretty much be certain other people are being passive too. So if you lead, some will follow. Organize a group, throw a party, or just invite a friend to coffee.And what should you look for when meeting new folks who might become future “must” or “trust” friends? All the research agrees:  similarity  is key. Not only does it draw us to people, it also makes friendships more likely to last.From  Buddy System:Similarities also occur when tastes and interests match up, and similarities make friendships easier to maintain. And, unless you are interested in hanging out with people who make you feel bad about yourself (not a good interest to have), finding someone who conveys that you are likeable to them will be v ery reinforcing to your self-esteem.Beyond similarity, you should also look for  people you want to learn something from. Since you  took the time to sit down and “know thyself,” think about the person you want to be. Your best self.Who do you want to rub off on you? To make you a better spouse, parent, worker or human being?(To learn more about how to make friends as an adult, click  here.)Okay, you know what you want, you’re making time, and you’re proactive. So what’s the  real  key to developing emotional intimacy with your friends?5) CommunicationYeah, you hear “communicating is vital” constantly from experts but few ever break it down so you know how to actually do it. (These experts must not be good communicators.)You want to focus on four primary elements:  creating safety, vulnerability, emotional expressiveness, and active listening. Creating safety: Is my friend going to feel comfortable opening up to me? Am I being too judgmental? Or, at the opposite extreme, too nosy and pushy? Vulnerability: Are you sharing personal thoughts and feelings with them? Reciprocity is powerful and this is vital to helping both of you. Quick litmus test: are you scared to talk about the subject? Then you’re being vulnerable. Emotional expressiveness: Don’t just talk thoughts. Talk feelings. Yours and theirs. (Guys, if you’re recoiling at this, you’re proving the point that you need to work on it.) Active listening: Good listeners don’t just hear; they make the other person feel heard. Nod, acknowledge, and summarize what your friend said for confirmation. As former FBI hostage negotiator  Chris Voss  advises, if they respond “Exactly” - you’re doing it right. Women are much better at this than men. They spend more time communicating and focus more on emotional support.From  Buddy System:When asked the question concerning what they did with their friends, giving emotional support also was more common for women than for men.Much of male communication is teasing the other guy (which, taken too far, is the opposite of safety.) Men feel being vulnerable is the  worst  thing they can do (and to be fair, the cultural ideal of the “strong, silent type” and phrases like “man up” aren’t helping any.) Males are taught not to be expressive. And guys tend to focus on problem-solving instead of listening during conversations.From  Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship:We have found in our Friendship Labs that men are often willing to trade zingers and even enjoy mutual sparring, but only in limited doses. And while most will put up with it, they definitely will not open up when it’s coming at them.That said, women face c hallenges here too. Because they are taught to put others at ease and say supportive things, the issue of trust can become a problem: “Does she really mean what she’s saying, or is she just being nice?”From  Buddy System:Sociologist Lillian Rubin cites one woman as saying that, because women are so expressive and afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, compliments are never assumed to be true. “‘How can I believe she means I look good when she says it automatically, every time I see her?’”The solution for both sexes is, you guessed it, more and deeper communication. Doing the things necessary to make the other person feel safe - and then vulnerably discussing tough subjects gently and respectfully.(To learn more about how to handle the most difficult of conversations, click  here.)So you have the tools to build emotional intimacy. But once you have it, how do you keep a solid friendship alive?6) UpkeepFriendships require upkeep, like a plant. Yes, some friends are suc culents that require little watering but you’re probably forgetting all the ones that turned brown and ended up in the trash.You need to stay in regular contact. Research shows for solid friendships,  every 2 weeks  is the minimum.  In general, women are much better at this than men.From  Buddy System:Women maintain friendships largely through communication and staying in frequent contact… In contrast, only 10% of the men maintained friendships through frequent contact…But ladies face problems as well. Due to the amount of communication and openness, women are more likely to damage their friendships than men.  Survey results show women were more likely to say they lost a friend because of something they said or did (65% vs 50% for men.)That said, women are more likely to make efforts to repair damaged friendships, while men are more likely to let the relationship dissolve.So women might want to put more effort in to not getting offended. And given how difficult it can be for m en to make “must” friends, they should learn from the ladies and make more attempts to fix a troubled friendship rather than just moving on.(To learn how neuroscience can teach you to be more emotionally intelligent, click  here.)Alright, we’ve learned a lot. Time to round it all up and see how all this leads to a more meaningful life…Sum upThis is how to make emotionally intelligent friendships: Know thyself: To get the friendships you want, you have to know what you want. Make time: More accurately, make it a priority. We all waste time. So, uh, just don’t waste time alone. Must, Trust, Rust, Just: The first two are key. Strengthen the “must” and try to elevate the “trust.” Be proactive: In case you need confirmation, waiting for the phone to ring does not, in fact, make the phone ring. Communication: Create safety, be vulnerable, be emotionally expressive and use active listening. And a sincere compliment never hurt either, beautiful. Upkeep: You’re not too busy to send a text message every two weeks. If you think you’ll forget, put it in your calendar. Research  shows your friends often know you better than you know yourself. So not only does being closer to friends make your life better, it’s also the path to getting to know yourself better.So do what it takes to improve your relationships with friends and you’ll also improve the one relationship that’s key to happiness in life…The one you have with yourself.Join more than 320,000 readers.  Get a free weekly update via email  here.This article first appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.You might also enjoy… New neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happy Strangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds 10 lessons from Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule that will double your productivity The worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs 10 habits of mentally strong people

7 healthy lifestyle habits that can add more than a decade to your life

7 healthy lifestyle habits that can add more than a decade to your life 7 healthy lifestyle habits that can add more than a decade to your life Better health and happiness I want it, you want it, we all want it. Healthy habits are the key to a long life. You know the many benefits of a healthy lifestyle, but it’s hard to embrace them. Why? Every good habit may be hard to adopt, but you can change that, one simple and consistent habit at a time. Healthy habits can easily put your health and productivity on autopilot. Follow Ladders on Flipboard! Follow Ladders’ magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more!   And the good news is, you don’t have to make drastic changes to your life or current routine to embrace a healthy lifestyle. Small changes done consistently can have a greater impact on your life in the long-term. Adopt some of these simple habits today and start creating an epic life your future self will be proud of. 1. Stand  more Your body is designed for regular movement. If you sit behind a desk for a very long time, you’ve got to change that. Sitting for too long will negatively impact the quality of your life and work. When you sit for long stretches, good cholesterol drops, and your body becomes inflamed, which increases the risk of heart attack. Moving your muscles helps your body digest the fats and sugars better. Dr. James Levine, author of Get Up! Why Your Chair Is Killing You and What You Can Do About It, has done a number of investigations and notes that within 90 seconds of standing up (if you’ve been sitting for too long), the muscular and cellular systems that process blood sugar, triglycerides, and cholesterol get activated. When you stop moving for extended periods of time, it’s like telling your body it’s time to shut down. The less sitting you do during the day, the better your chances of living a healthy life. You’ll be in a better mood, feel more energised, and relieve your achy body with just a few seconds of stretches at your desk. 2. Sleep is not a  luxury A consistent seven to nine-hour sleep is one of the most important and effective things you can do for your brain and body. “Sleep is perhaps the greatest legal performance-enhancing ‘drug’ that few people are taking advantage of,” writes Matthew Walker of The Guardian. Many people suffer from bad sleep; the worries of the day often keep them from fully recharging their brains and bodies for the day ahead. They get up, maybe two, three, four times, before morning. WebMD explains that an average adult needs between 7.5 and 8 hours of sleep per night, but also note that some people can function with 6 hours of sleep, while others need 9 or more. I aim to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night and endeavour to go to bed at the same time every night. Consistent good sleep allows you to have plenty of energy for your day’s work. And adequate amounts of sleep can improve your memory and quality of life, sharpen your attention, help you maintain a healthy weight, and of course lower the stress. Healthline explains that mental health issues, such as depression, are strongly linked to poor sleep quality and sleeping disorders. To begin a new path towards healthier sleep and a healthier lifestyle, the National Sleep Foundation recommends a personal assessment of your own individual needs and habits. Pay careful attention to your mood, energy and health after a poor night’s sleep versus a good one, and find out what helps and what doesn’t. 3. Move for at least 30 minutes a  day “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~ Jim Rohn Always keep moving. Your mind, body, and waistline will thank you. It’s one of the most important decisions you can ever take for your health. John F. Kennedy once said, “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” Exercise boosts your confidence and energy levels. It’s also a great way to combat stress and turn you into a calmer person. Every morning, I try to stretch (pushups, squats, general body movements) for at least 5 minutes. And during the day I take time to walk or power-walk when possible. Walking helps clear my mind and have a different perspective on my current projects and life in general. On weekends I workout for at least 10 minutes. Don’t go to the gym for an hour and lift weights until you pass out. If you can commit to minimal activities for even 5 minutes a week it’s a good start. I will start biking in a few weeks. My gear is almost set. Exercise doesn’t have to be anything big but it has be consistent. You can squeeze in daily choices like taking the stairs, parking farther away, going for a quick walk, etc. to keep your body active. Start small and develop the habit into your daily schedule and then ramp it up when you can. Exercise a couple of minutes every day. You can get started with this simple 7-minute routines from the New York Times. To make exercise a daily habit, schedule it into your calendar and set reminders. If possible, always exercise at the same time. And most importantly, make it a pleasurable activity. There’s no sense to run if you don’t like running. Find a type of exercise that you like and practice it. 4. Upgrade your water  intake Our bodies are around 60% water. Good water is better than any other beverage. “Think of water as a nutrient your body needs that is present in liquids, plain water, and foods. All of these are essential daily to replace the large amounts of water lost each day,” says Joan Koelemay, RD, dietitian for the Beverage Institute, an industry group. After 6â€"8 hours of good sleep, your body becomes dehydrated, so I drink at least a glass of water every morning before breakfast. After rehydration, your body will function and metabolize at its greatest efficiency. The activated system can then process the nutrition you eat better and distribute the energy you need for your day’s work. According to dietitian Julie Upton, drinking about half your weight in millilitres of water is a great way to ensure you stay hydrated, have energy, and even burn more calories. “When you’re dehydrated you’ll experience dry mouth, low blood pressure, headaches, dizziness, dry skin, and worst of all, fatigue,” writes Patrick Allan of Lifehacker. Listen to your body and make the right choice as the day progresses. When you’re low on fluids, the brain triggers the body’s thirst mechanism. It pays to listen to those cues and get yourself a drink of water. If you already have a good morning and bedtime routine, make drinking water a part of it. 5. Open your  windows Getting enough fresh air where you live may be as simple as opening a window. “Open your home to the outside world as frequently as you can, since the inside of a home generally has three to four times the pollutants and particles that are most dangerous to us. If you don’t air it out, you increase the chance that these pollutants will build up,” says Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD. The air inside your home might be even more polluted than the air outside. There are dozens of possible sources of polluted air on our homes hairspray, candles, fumes from the nonstick coating on your cookware, etc. While any might be harmless in small amounts, the air they create when mixed together can turn up inflammation, raise blood pressure, and even harden your arteries. And if you’re spending more time indoors, it’s even more important to ventilate your house every now and then. So make sure to open your windows as often as possible and bring fresh air. Open windows for at least 10 minutes every day on milder days and once a week in winter, if you can’t afford to open your windows for just five minutes a day. Keeping windows shut over winter helps save energy, not to mention money. But if you never exchange the air inside your home for fresh air, it can get stale and potentially lead to health issues. 6. Make nuts your go-to  snack A better snack is medicine your body. Healthy snacks have the power to help you feel your best. Nuts are better than potato chips or crackers. Nuts are high in heart-healthy omega-3s, which also have been shown to help shrink your waistline. Make your snack work for you, not against you. “People who ate one ounce of nuts a day (that’s about 25 almonds or 50 pistachios) were less likely to die over a 30-year period than people who didn’t eat them at all, found a study of 119,000 people published in the New England Journal of Medicine,” writes Lauren Gelman of Reader’s Digest. High levels of healthy unsaturated fats in nuts may lower cholesterol and inflammation, reducing the risk of heart disease, cancer, and more. 7. Remove clutter from your  life “The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.” ? Joshua Becker Clutter is anything you don’t like, don’t use, or don’t need. Our lives tend to accumulate clutter over time in almost every corner: on our desks, in our drawers, on our shelves, in our closets, on our computer, and even on your mind. Evidence suggests that when multiple visual stimuli are competing for your attention, you have a harder time narrowing your focus to only one of them. Decluttering your life is about removing some of the extra possessions in your house, keeping your desk clean at the end of every working day, focusing on one goal at a time (single-tasking), keeping an MIT(most important things) list, unsubscribing from newsletters you don’t need, and consuming less media to keep a sane mind. There’s no downside to decluttering. When you consistently declutter your life, home, and work, everything will improve everywhere. You’ll feel amazing, emotionally lighter, and energised, and your health will expand easier. Closing thoughts People who stick to healthy habits in adulthood can add more than a decade to their lives, according to a major study into the impact behaviour has on lifespan. If you are ready to make healthy choices, simply pick a couple of healthy habits that resonate with you. Don’t pick more than you can handle at a time, otherwise, you will give up. Focus on small behaviour changes everyday and work towards developing a healthier lifestyle. Changing your habits is a process, not a destination. Healthy living isn’t impossible, but it takes time to develop. If you’re willing to make the sacrifices to better your health, the impact can be life-changing, regardless of your age. This article originally appeared on Medium.   You might also enjoy… New neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happy Strangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds 10 lessons from Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule that will double your productivity The worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs 10 habits of mentally strong people

The Top 25 Flexible Jobs With the Most Growth Potential in 2016

The Top 25 Flexible Jobs With the Most Growth Potential in 2016 The Top 25 Flexible Jobs With the Most Growth Potential in 2016 One of the things people dont realize about flexible jobs is that they exist in practically every career field, says Brie Reynolds, director of online content at FlexJobs.  Most of them are jobs youd recognize â€" but theres still a feeling that flexible and remote jobs are only for certain professions, like writing and consulting. To help dispel the myth that flexible work â€" i.e., telecommuting options, flexible schedules, and freelance arrangements â€" is only available to certain professionals in certain industries, FlexJobs put together a list of 25 flexible jobs  that are likely to be in high demand in 2016. What may be surprising about this list to some is the wide swath of industries present here: Roles in every  field  from law and education to finance and medicine show up on FlexJobss list. We loved lists from Business Insider and Lifehack about future jobs and high-potential jobs for 2016 (The 21 Best Jobs of the Future  and 10 Jobs with the Most Potential in 2015 and 2016), and [we] compared the jobs that made their lists with the flexible job listings on our site, Reynolds explains. This gave us a great list of the the most high-potential  flexible  jobs in 2016. Reynolds hopes that this list will show job seekers and career changers that yes, flexible work opportunities  do  exist in most professions. We hear from people like working parents, baby boomers, military spouses, caregivers, millennials, people with disabilities, and others who either want or need flexible work options, and a list like this shows them where the most opportunity exists in 2016,  Reynolds says. The list also has some repercussions for employers: Given how in-demand flexible work is,  companies looking to attract top talent would do well to implement flexible work policies in their workplaces. As more companies adopt flexible work policies or update their current policies to offer better options â€" and see how flexible work  benefits the bottom line â€" there will hopefully be more pressure on other companies to follow suit, Reynolds says. The Top 25 High-Potential Flexible Jobs in 2016, According to FlexJobs 1. Accountant Accountants work in a variety of capacities to help individuals and companies prepare tax returns, research tax issues, and perform budgeting, assessment, and reporting tasks. Types of job flexibility offered: telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules, temporary and seasonal options, freelance options 2. Athletic Trainer Working in a variety of locations, like sports medicine centers, gyms, health care companies, schools, sports teams, and medical centers, athletic trainers are responsible for providing patient care, performing injury evaluations, developing treatment options, and implementing rehabilitative athletic treatment plans. Types of job flexibility offered: full-time and part-time schedules, flexible schedules, temporary and occasional jobs 3. Auditors Auditors are responsible for the examination, analysis, and interpretations of accounting records in a variety of circumstances. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules, seasonal and temporary options, freelance options 4. Computer and Information Systems Manager Systems managers work to plan, direct, and coordinate computer systems and their administrators. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting, short-term and long-term options 5. Computer Systems Analyst For many different industries and clients, computer systems analysts are hired to configure and maintain application and system software and diagnose and troubleshoot software issues. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time schedules, freelance options, short-term and temporary assignments 6. Elementary School Teacher Elementary teachers plan lessons, lead students, create an environment conducive to learning, prioritize each students needs, and partner with parents and colleagues to manage curricula, materials, and goals. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time or part-time schedules, freelance or permanent options 7. Environmental Engineer Environmental engineers are responsible for developing new solutions to assist companies, organizations, and government entities in bettering their environmental footprints and cleaning up previous environmental issues. Tasks include managing projects, writing reports, collecting samples, and more. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, part-time schedules, freelance jobs 8. Financial Manager Depending on the industry and company, financial managers are responsible for developing financial plans and concepts, evaluating and resolving issues, and directing financial activities across organizations. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time or part-time schedules, freelance roles 9. Home Health Aide As the population ages, home health aides are becoming increasingly in-demand. These professionals work to provide patients with in-home support for tasks such as meal preparation, ambulation, homemaking chores, and personal care. Types of job flexibility offered:  part-time schedules, occasional jobs 10. Lawyer Lawyers work in a variety of capacities to help clients navigate the legal and judicial systems in the U.S. Opportunities are found in corporate, litigation, labor and employment, real estate, and many other areas. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting, short-term and temporary options 11. Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) In home settings, hospitals, medical centers, and hospice care facilities, LPNs assist with patient care, telephone triage, patient treatments, and related activities. A current license is required. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting, occasional and temporary options 12. Licensed Vocational Nurse (LVN) LVNs maintain medical records, assist with call screening, help with physical exams, collect lab samples, and provide other support as needed. A current license is required. Types of job flexibility offered:  full- and part-time, occasional work, flexible schedules 13.  Market Research Analyst Market research analysts work with a variety of clients to help strategy and market planning through research analysis. They design research instruments, collect data, conduct analysis, and issue reports. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules 14. Medical Assistant Certified medical assistants register patients, document medical notes, assist physicians, review medical charts, and assist with patient care plans. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting, occasional jobs 15. Nurse Practitioner Nurse practitioners (NPs) provide clinical oversight and coordinate patient care, as well as examine, diagnose, and treat patients, counsel and educate  patients, and prescribe medications. A masters degree and current licensing are  required. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time or part-time hours, flexible schedules, telecommuting, occasional and temporary options 16. Office Manager Office managers are responsible for keeping offices in a huge variety of industries running smoothly. They manage support staff, assist with travel arrangements, manage office supplies and equipment, and do much more. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, short-term and temporary options 17. Operations Manager Operations managers are responsible for providing assistance to the functioning, planning, and directing of companies and organizations. They typically work closely with other departments like accounting, marketing, sales, and IT. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, temporary and short-term jobs, freelance options 18. Physical Therapist Physical therapists work with patients with injuries to provide assessment, develop care plans, treatment options, and work with other healthcare providers. Types of job flexibility offered:  part-time, alternative, and flexible schedules, telecommuting, occasional job options 19. Registered Nurse The responsibilities of a registered nurse include educating patients, performing procedures, and conducting medical assessments. They work closely with other members of the medical staff. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules, occasional jobs 20. Software Application Developer Application developers are hired to create software applications, develop and troubleshoot existing software, and assist with quality-assurance testing. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting, freelance options, short-term jobs 21. Software Systems Developer Software systems developers are responsible for developing operating systems, creating compilers, and developing network software, as well as maintaining these programs. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules, freelance options, short-term options 22. Surgeon Surgeons treat patients for a variety of injuries and ailments, and they also work in management and consulting capacities to help others in the profession with procedures, appropriate care, and claims reviews. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, part-time schedules 23. Survey Researcher Survey researchers are typically responsible for designing, developing, administering, and analyzing surveys and studies for one or more clients. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, full-time and part-time schedules, flexible schedule options, freelance options 24. Web Designer Web designers are responsible for developing a variety of Web-related creative components like websites, newsletters, graphics, digital campaigns, and more. Types of job flexibility offered:  telecommuting, freelance options, full-time and part-time schedules, short-term jobs 25. Wholesale Sales Representative Wholesale sales representatives are responsible for overseeing business relationships, maintaining existing accounts, and prospecting new accounts related to selling wholesale goods and services. Types of job flexibility offered:  full-time and part-time schedules, telecommuting

11 celebrities best advice to their younger selves

11 celebrities' best advice to their younger selves 11 celebrities' best advice to their younger selves As we grow older, we hopefully grow wiser, more aware of the pitfalls and detours that would have stopped us from accomplishing our goals when we were younger. We’re not alone in this career journey. Even the most successful leaders today started out young and in need of guidance.Here are the best pieces of life and career advice celebrities and leaders like Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey would give their younger selves, so that we can learn along with them, and hopefully learn to see a pitfall before we fall into it:Oprah Winfrey“I always ask people on ‘Super Soul Sunday’ to tell me, what would you say to your younger self?  Every person says in one form or another, I would have said, relax,  Relax. It’s going to be okay. It really is going to be okay because even if you’re on a detour right now and that’s how you know, when you’re not at ease with yourself, when you’re feeling like ohhh, ohhh, - that is the cue that you need to be moving in another direction. Don†™t let yourself get all thrown off, continue to be thrown off course. When you’re feeling off course, that’s the key, ” the media mogul and self-made billionaire  told Stanford Business School graduates. “The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, ‘what is the next right move?'”Bill GatesWhen asked what he would tell his 19-year-old self, the Microsoft co-founder and billionaire philanthropist wrote, “What I would explain that smartness is not single dimensional and not quite as important as I thought it was back then. I would say you might explore the developing world before you get into your forties. I wasn’t very good socially back then but I am not sure there is advice that would fix that - maybe I had to be awkward and just grow up..”Carrie Fisher“If there’s a choice between companionship and anything else- especially career- choose companionship. It’s the only thing that has the potential to last. Choose career and you’ll spend u nreasonable amounts of time attempting to look younger than you are and feeling you aren’t succeeding. Fame is not acceptance,” the late actress  wrote in a letter to her younger self.Tony Robbins“You’re going to over estimate what you could do in a year and you’re going to underestimate what you could do in a decade, or in two, three, or in my case now four [decades],” the self-made millionaire and motivational speaker  told CNBC. “Allow yourself to think in terms of decades.”Michelle Obama“Stop being so afraid! That’s really what strikes me when I look back- the sheer amount of time I spent tangled up in fears and doubts that were entirely of my own creation,” the former U.S. First Lady told People. “Walk away from ‘friendships’ that make you feel small and insecure, and seek out people who inspire you and support you. Focus more on learning than on succeeding- instead of pretending that you understand something when you don’t, just raise your hand an d ask a question. You’re a smart girl, and chances are if you’re confused, plenty of other students are too. And for heaven’s sake, let yourself really fail once in a while- not some tiny little mistakes here and there, but big, glaring, confidence-shaking, dark-night-of-the-soul-inducing failures. Understand that no one- especially folks who are truly successful- simply coasts from achievement to achievement. The most accomplished people in the world fail and fail big. That’s how they learn so much and grow so quickly and become so interesting and wise.”Naomi Wolf“INVEST FIFTY BUCKS IN THE STOCK MARKET EVERY MONTH!! You don’t need to eat out so much. Think of all that compound interest!” the best-selling author  wrote in a letter to her younger self. Mark Cuban “You’ve got to know where you are good and where you are not good,” the “Shark Tank” judge and self-made billionaire said he would tell his 20-year-old self.  â€œI look for somebody who knows what they are good at and knows what they are not very good at and is realistic enough to pull all of those pieces together.” Whoopi Goldberg “Stay out of your own way,” the comedian, entrepreneur and television host wrote in a letter to her younger self. David Robinson “Your peers will respect you for your integrity and character, not your possessions. What are you gonna do anyway, drive a Ferrari around the naval base? How is that going to help anyone?”  the NBA Hall-of-Famer who attended the U.S. Naval Academy wrote in a letter to his younger self. Jack Dorsey “When I was young, I didn’t understand  the value of exercise or health and how that affected my intellect,”  the Twitter and Square CEO told Y Combinator on what he would tell his younger self. “I think it was useful for me to go to all the extremes to find the balance I have now, but I wish I focused more on being healthier in the past. A healthier lifestyle ultimately makes me more creative and allows me to think more cohesively.” Sheryl Sandberg When a person on Quora asked the Facebook COO what Sandberg would tell her younger self at the beginning of her career, Sandberg gave a detailed response: “There is no straight path to where you are going.  If you try to draw that line you will not just get it wrong, but you will miss big opportunities. As Pattie Sellers of Fortune Magazine says, careers are not ladders but jungle gyms. You don’t have to have it all figured out. I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: A long-term dream: It doesn’t have to be realistic or even specific. For example, you might say you want to work in a specific field, travel the world, have more free time. Even a vague goal can provide direction. An 18-month plan: Set personal goals for what you want to learn in the next year and a half. Ask yourself how you can improve and what you’re afraid to do (that’s usually the thing you should try).”